Navigating Grief During the Holidays: Featured Blog by Jessica Russell, LCSW-S
The holiday season is often painted as a time of joy and togetherness. But when you’re grieving, it can feel like a glaring spotlight on what’s missing. Whether you’re mourning the loss of a loved one, a relationship, or even a stage of life, the holidays can be an emotional minefield.
Grief doesn’t take a holiday break—and that’s okay. Let’s talk about how to navigate this season with compassion, intention, and a little extra grace for yourself.
Why Grief Feels Heavier During the Holidays
The holidays are often tied to routines, traditions, and expectations. Maybe your loved one played a central role in your holiday gatherings, or perhaps the season reminds you of times when everything felt whole. The loss feels amplified because this time of year naturally brings reflection—on the past, on what’s changed, and on what might never feel the same again.
On top of that, there’s the social pressure to be cheerful. The world around you seems to be shouting “Joy! Gratitude! Celebration!” while you’re just trying to get through the day. This disconnect can make grief feel even more isolating.
How to Honor Your Grief (and Yourself) This Holiday Season
There’s no “right” way to grieve during the holidays. The best approach is to listen to yourself and honor what you need. Here are some ways to do that:
Set Boundaries
If big gatherings feel overwhelming, it’s okay to say no. You don’t have to explain or justify why you’re skipping a party or leaving early. Your energy and emotions are yours to protect.
Create New Traditions
Sometimes, it helps to fill the space left by old traditions with something new. Maybe it’s lighting a candle in your loved one’s memory, making their favorite dish, or donating to a cause they cared about.
Give Yourself Permission to Feel Everything
Holidays can be a rollercoaster of emotions. You might feel sadness in one moment and laughter in the next—and that’s normal. Allow yourself to fully experience your feelings, without judgment.
Lean on Your Support System
Let your loved ones know how they can support you. Maybe you want someone to check in before gatherings or to sit with you as you reflect on your loss. It’s okay to ask for help.
Balance Reflection with Rest
If grief feels too heavy, take breaks. Watch a comforting movie, spend time in nature, or focus on grounding techniques like deep breathing or mindfulness exercises.
Supporting Yourself Through Holiday Events
When attending holiday events, it’s helpful to have a plan. Here are some tips to make those gatherings feel more manageable:
Set an Exit Strategy: Let the host know you may need to leave early, and don’t feel guilty about it.
Designate a Quiet Space: Whether it’s a room in your home or a corner at a party, have a “hideaway” where you can take a moment if emotions hit.
Ask for Check-Ins: Have a trusted friend or family member periodically check in on you during events. Sometimes, just knowing someone is there makes all the difference.
A Simple Gratitude Tradition
One way to balance the heaviness of grief is to reflect on moments of gratitude—even amidst the loss. In my own family, we’ve started a “Gratitude Book” that gets passed around at Thanksgiving and Friendsgiving gatherings. Each person writes something they’re grateful for that year, and it’s a joy to read through in future years.
For those grieving, gratitude doesn’t mean ignoring your pain—it means honoring the parts of your life that still hold meaning. It can be as simple as feeling grateful for a warm blanket, a kind friend, or the memory of your loved one.
Need Extra Support This Holiday Season?
If the holidays feel like too much, know that you’re not alone. Therapy can provide a space to process your grief, explore your feelings, and find tools to navigate this season. At Olive Branch Counseling, we understand the weight of loss and are here to help you find balance and peace again.
And if you’re looking for additional support, our Wellness Toolkit has resources designed to help you through difficult times, including:
The Boundary Setting Workbook
The Self-Compassion Worksheet
The Are You a People-Pleaser Quiz
About the Author
Jessica Russell, LCSW-S is a licensed therapist and the founder of Olive Branch Counseling, where she specializes in helping individuals navigate complex trauma, people-pleasing behaviors, and boundary-setting. With a warm, empathetic approach, Jessica combines expertise with a down-to-earth style, making therapeutic growth feel accessible and achievable. She’s passionate about helping clients reclaim their voice, find balance, and reconnect with their authentic selves. When she’s not in the office, Jessica enjoys traveling with husband and son, songwriting, and spending time with her three dogs and two cats.
